After a long day of work and responsibility, I finally find myself where my soul longs to be. I sit down at the computer, and I place my fingers upon the keyboard, all the while mentally and emotionally prepping myself for whatever is to come.
The first wave of anxiety hits and I feel an aching sensation flush from my head, down to my neck, through my arms, my legs, to my feet and onto the floor.
I can’t do this.
I hesitate, but by now I have learned to then begin again. Perhaps holding on to lives travesty is what makes life feel so insurmountable to me at times. Writing is a form of validation for me. When my pain and heartache is validated, I can begin to let go. This heartache and anger, sadness and grief is necessary for my transformation into, as Brene Brown says, “a whole-hearted & authentic self”. To me this is my art form. This is my self-expression. Whether it is any good or not, I cannot say.. but I do know that this is where my heart, mind, body and soul connect. They all come together in an intrinsic cycle of feminine flow that is my life source. My anxiety subsides and as mind to heart, heart to body, body to soul, soul to mind connect, I feel the anxiety as it flows out through my fingertips and onto the page and I am free.
Widow Of Intimacy 